{"id":26701,"date":"2020-04-09T20:03:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-09T19:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pinkoddy.co.uk\/?p=26701"},"modified":"2020-04-09T20:08:06","modified_gmt":"2020-04-09T19:08:06","slug":"tova-leigh-fcked-at-40","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/2020\/04\/09\/tova-leigh-fcked-at-40\/","title":{"rendered":"Tova Leigh F*cked at 40"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>As a mother of four and turning forty-two this year I was\ninterested by an opportunity to read Tova Leigh\u2019s F*cked at 40.&nbsp; The quote I was sent referred to being fed up\nof \u201cjust\u201d being a mum is how I interpreted it and I could certainly relate to\nthat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<u><h3><strong>Thoughts on Tova\nLeigh\u2019s F*cked at 40<\/strong><!--\/h3--><\/h3><\/u>\n\n\n\n<p>F*cked at 40 is a well written, funny and empowering book\nabout Tova Leigh\u2019s Mom Crisis at 42. Being an older mother when she had her\nfirst child, Tova had done a lot with her life pre children and missed it. She\nblames society for placing expectations on mothers and explains how she broke\nfree of them. It is easy (and interesting) to read, I love how it is written\nwith bite size chapters, broken down with stars in between and Instagram posts\n&#8211; as well as the honesty, humour and just how she draws me in to want to know\nmore about her life and feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"sbi-embed-wrap\"><blockquote class=\"instagram-media sbi-embed\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B91HCOcJKBw\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"13\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\"><div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B91HCOcJKBw\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;\" target=\"_blank\"> <div style=\" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\"> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;\"><svg width=\"50px\" height=\"50px\" viewBox=\"0 0 60 60\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" xmlns:xlink=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/1999\/xlink\"><g stroke=\"none\" stroke-width=\"1\" fill=\"none\" fill-rule=\"evenodd\"><g transform=\"translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)\" fill=\"#000000\"><g><path d=\"M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631\"><\/path><\/g><\/g><\/g><\/svg><\/div><div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\"> <div style=\" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\"> View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B91HCOcJKBw\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\">A post shared by Joy Gloucestershire UK (@pinkoddy)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote><script async src=\"\/\/platform.instagram.com\/en_US\/embeds.js\"><\/script><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>However, thing is it turns out that Tova Leigh and I seem to\nhave had very different lives which have possibly resulted in very different\nviewpoints for a lot of her book. All of her life feels like she was just so\nrepressed, like none of it was for her up until the point where she had a\nbreast cancer scare and just generally had enough. I guess reading it all just\nmade me feel very grateful and lucky. That when I am feeling all frustrated with\nlife that it really is more my hormones rather than being happy with what I\nhave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<u><h2><strong>Letting go of the\nIdea of Doing Everything for your Kids and having No Life of your Own<\/strong><\/h2><\/u>\n\n\n\n<p>The thing is for me I never had a life like Tova\u2019s before children &#8211; I was just a child myself: I was pregnant with my first born at 17 and I was 18 when he was born. I hadn\u2019t done stuff like travelled at lot before so I didn\u2019t miss my \u201cold\u201d life. Tova talks of finally leaving her children to make time for herself. But I have always made time for me. Even when my oldest was young I was still going out to night clubs. Then I went on a girls\u2019 hen weekend to Spain whilst still tandem feeding my youngest two! This progress to a week-long work trip to <a href=\"https:\/\/pinkoddy.co.uk\/2016\/06\/20\/mark-warner-san-lucianu-resort-corsica-yoga-retreat\/\" class=\"aioseop-link\">Corsica<\/a> and a week in Spain with my best mate for our 40ths (joined by some others for a long weekend of that). Not forgetting a trip with just me and my son to <a href=\"https:\/\/pinkoddy.co.uk\/2018\/01\/15\/things-to-know-about-iceland\/\" class=\"aioseop-link\">Iceland<\/a> for his 21st birthday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"601\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pinkoddy.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/in-the-blue-lagoon.jpg?resize=800%2C601\" alt=\"mother and son in the blue lagoon iceland\" class=\"wp-image-24391\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/in-the-blue-lagoon.jpg?w=800 800w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/in-the-blue-lagoon.jpg?resize=300%2C225 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/in-the-blue-lagoon.jpg?resize=768%2C577 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I did find it interesting that she felt that she was always\ndoing everything for her family and not herself, but yet proudly had a Nanny\nlooking after her children too. I respected her choices and her raw honesty\nabout it all &#8211; but it was just a far cry away from my experiences. I don\u2019t feel\nI could have afforded help like that to start a career which is why I feel like\nI am \u201cjust a mother\u201d wondering what happens next as my children start to depend\non me less and less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<u><h4><strong>Sex and Marriage<\/strong><\/h4><\/u>\n\n\n\n<p>As for the sex side of things I felt that we were brought up\nvery differently there too. Let\u2019s say my childhood isn\u2019t the pleasantest in\nthat respect and again I could just feel I was the total opposite to Tova. One\nof the areas Tova talks about is how 40 year old women and 20 year old men\nhaving similar sex drives but that when she was hit on by a 20 year old and she\ntold him she was 42 he was shocked and said she was old enough to be his mother\n&#8211; that he clearly wasn\u2019t interested. Again this is not my experience the twenty\nyear olds I have encountered seem to think this is great, maybe that I have\nmore expertise or something (but no I haven\u2019t slept with one since I was in my\ntwenties myself). I can\u2019t relate to her wanting an open relationship with her\nhusband because it isn\u2019t what I am after. But I totally get that what a couple\nneeds is total honesty, and an ability to talk to one another frankly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pinkoddy.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/roman-kraft-119841.jpg?resize=800%2C534\" alt=\"Heart shaped waffle\" class=\"wp-image-24402\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/roman-kraft-119841.jpg?w=800 800w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/roman-kraft-119841.jpg?resize=300%2C200 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/roman-kraft-119841.jpg?resize=768%2C513 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><figcaption>Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<u><h3><strong>Conclusions on Tova\nLeigh\u2019s F*cked at 40<\/strong><\/h3><\/u>\n\n\n\n<p>F*cked at 40 is definitely a book I would recommend to my\nfriends with kids to read. Tova comes across as really likeable and it flows\nwell (although there were some sections I got confused on her life order and\nwho was who). I thought it was going to be a book about reaching the menopause\nbut it wasn\u2019t. But it is insightful and I am sure every woman could take\nsomething away from reading it &#8211; even if it is just to make sure that her cup\nis always full.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>I was sent an uncorrected\nproof for purposes of review. All opinions are honest and my own.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a mother of four and turning forty-two this year I was interested by an opportunity to read Tova Leigh\u2019s F*cked at 40.&nbsp; The quote I was sent referred to being fed up of \u201cjust\u201d being a mum is how I interpreted it and I could certainly relate to that. Thoughts on Tova Leigh\u2019s F*cked &#8230; <a title=\"Tova Leigh F*cked at 40\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/2020\/04\/09\/tova-leigh-fcked-at-40\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Tova Leigh F*cked at 40\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26706,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2017],"tags":[2348,4553,4552,4550],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=800%2C927","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=800%2C927",800,927,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=259%2C300",259,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=768%2C890",768,890,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=800%2C927",800,927,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=800%2C927",800,927,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/fucked-at-40.jpg?fit=800%2C927",800,927,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"pinkoddy","author_link":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/author\/pinkoddy\/"},"uagb_comment_info":1,"uagb_excerpt":"As a mother of four and turning forty-two this year I was interested by an opportunity to read Tova Leigh\u2019s F*cked at 40.&nbsp; The quote I was sent referred to being fed up of \u201cjust\u201d being a mum is how I interpreted it and I could certainly relate to that. Thoughts on Tova Leigh\u2019s F*cked&hellip;","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pepM9j-6WF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26701"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26701"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26701\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}