{"id":26385,"date":"2019-10-30T14:25:46","date_gmt":"2019-10-30T13:25:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pinkoddy.co.uk\/?p=26385"},"modified":"2019-10-30T14:25:50","modified_gmt":"2019-10-30T13:25:50","slug":"the-swimming-journey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/2019\/10\/30\/the-swimming-journey\/","title":{"rendered":"The Swimming Journey"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As a parent it is tricky and we each have to decide how much\n(if at all) to push our children, or where to rein them in or stop ourselves.\nIn this example we are talking about sport but I am sure it could be applied to\na million things. I think parents are all different in their approaches but we\nalso need to be careful to make sure we really are doing things for the right\nreasons. Is it that our child really has so much potential and talent we want\nthem to achieve what they are capable of – or do we have some regrets ourselves\n– things we wish we had worked harder on?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Why I am not a\nPushy Parent when it comes to Sport<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I guess for me it is easy to decide which approach to go\ndown as I grew up with seeing the parent pushing to the extreme. In our family\nit was Judo and this requires opponents to compete in weight categories and\nthis can mean a really strict diet to fight in the lightest categories. There\nreally is something about a grown man threatening to punch a small child over a\ncheese biscuit that screams that this just is not right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We have also seen some really pushy parents during our time running. Whilst I questioned whether Parkrun is suitable for children<\/a> there are others being harsh on their four year olds (not fast enough, not the right posture etc) and to the other end teens doing incredible speeds that you never hear praise for – just more pushing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our Son\u2019s Swimming\nJourney<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Swimming is a very important life skill and not just a\nsport. Our older two boys started having lessons around 9 years ago. It seemed\nto be the \u201cdone\u201d thing to have extra lessons and no longer rely on the school –\nit made sense after all our town is prone to flooding. I remember how hard it\nwas trying to keep their two young brothers entertained whilst they swam and\none day our third born son asked when he could start swimming too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His first Swimming\nLessons<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As it turned out he was exactly the right age to have\nlessons without me (and I couldn\u2019t do them with him as there was no-one to have\nhis younger brother). This age was 2 years and 9 months and he was an absolute\nnatural. People always commented on his age when they saw him swim and I\nhonestly couldn\u2019t believe how good he was. It made me feel bad that I did not\nstart lessons earlier with the older two (who were also very good swimmers, one\nwent on to become a lifeguard and the other trialled swimming club – but I\nthink some of the other parents were too pushy for him and he found it boring).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Broken Arm Set\nBack<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately when our third born was four years old he fell\noff a small brick wall and broke his arm – this set him back quite a bit\nbecause not only couldn\u2019t he swim for a long while but younger children started\nmoving further up the groups than he was. When our local pool was knocked down\nand relocated they weren\u2019t very forthcoming with what was happening with\nlessons – and so he stopped swimming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back to Swimming<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the meantime his younger brother was still having lessons (which had been built up from one-to-ones) and our third son started having them again, and then stopped, and then started again. No matter what he kept coming back to this love of swimming! He was the first in our family (and still only so far) to compete in a triathlon<\/a>! He finished all the stages at the pool he was on and had to decide what to do next. He moved to another pool and did higher up lessons until one day a space became available for him in swimming academy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Joining Swimming Club<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Within six months he got invited to join the Swimming Club\nand this felt such an honour. It was quite an expense and that was just for his\nmemberships and monthly fees – but as I said he was so good at so we felt it\nworth investing in. We stopped his English and Maths tuition (by this time we\nknew it was only another six months\u2019 time until he was back into a school, a\nsuper-selective one at that) in order to help with some of the costs<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It started with only swimming an hour a week and that first\nsession was so hard, he ended up getting out early crying. They were so kind to\nhim and bought him a Slushie and told him how well he had done. When he\nreturned he was fine and coped with it ever since. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Progressing at\nSwimming Club<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soon he was telling me all the kit I needed to buy (which\nagain mounted to quite a lot) and I can\u2019t remember how it all creeped up but\nthe hours increased as he moved up a group, and then another and suddenly he\nwas swimming 5 times a week (and still running Parkrun<\/a>). He never got a lie in\nas he had now started at his new school and swam for 4 of the 5 nights after\nschool and Sunday morning. He felt like it was taking over his whole life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soon he had competed in a Gala and had taken part in the\nClub Championships (or blocks or whatever they were). There was an app to\ndownload and things to get your head around how it all works – but we were\ngetting there. You swim according to your record time but you compete in your\nage – so you can beat someone in the pool but they could have come first in\ntheir race depending on age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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He was doing well and really listening in training, but he\nwas still new to it and not as fast as his age group. I kept telling him this\nwould come in time and I am sure he is used to being really good at everything\nhe does. But he wanted to quit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Beginning of the\nEnd of Swimming Club<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a good lad, and also knowing how much we had spent, he\nwas willing to come going until his annual sub to Swim England ran out (which I\nbelieved was in the New Year). I was hoping in that time he would make enough\nprogress to want to carry on – to carry him through to the swimming competition\nat school. I can imagine that many of the children at that school are\nparticularly talented so wanted him to have his thing. But the new school hours\n(after being home educated) were probably also having an effect on him – as\nwell as the fact that he really wanted to try new things: Rugby is every\nMonday, Wednesday and Friday and that is before any matches, he could fit it in\nbut it would possibly be very tiring. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then it happened. After a very tiring first full week of\nschool and a Parkrun he competed in his first 100m Fly. This really didn\u2019t mean\na lot to me at the time but I have since read up on just how difficult this\nactually is (I can\u2019t even swim properly never mind do Butterfly). A child told\nhim that he had been disqualified and this made him cry. I am pretty sure that\nmore than anything this was from pure exhaustion, but he just wanted to leave.\nI am a REALLY emotional person and seeing him upset brought tears to my eyes.\nWe left immediately and the same kind lady who had brought him his slushie on\nthat first time at club came running out – he HADN\u2019T been disqualified. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

He stayed for his medals but he still felt he came last (he was actually last but one in one race). I can actually see the face of one of the younger boys he competed against sniggering in my photo! But that wasn\u2019t the reason. Again I reassured him that actually you will fail at things in life but it just means he needed to practice more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The End of Swimming Club<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I received an e-mail that seemed to be the whole squad (now I\nam not even sure if it was or not) but it talked about the importance of being\ndisqualified and it actually being important to ensure the children learn. I\nwas 100% on board with what was said. But then it went on to say that parents\nneeded to keep control of their emotions and be strong. Personally I do not see\ncrying as a weakness and was furious – especially as I felt that this e-mail\nwas about me crying and had gone round to everyone. But I let it go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That night there was a school open evening at the place\nwhere the swimming lesson was held and so took our youngest son for a look\naround. When I came back at the end of the swimming lesson the teacher was\ntalking to our son alone. One of the other parents told me that our son was the\nonly one who hadn\u2019t been told off that lesson and so I assumed she was praising\nhim. It wasn\u2019t until we left that I discovered that she had said that it was\nnot on to cry and make me cry!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The New Swimming<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since then our son has unfortunately left swimming club over\nthis matter. I am rather upset because I feel that he could have been really\ngood at it, and that his coach is very good. But mental health comes first. The\nboys have been affected by witnessing a man who had jumped off a motorway\nbridge dying as emergency services tried to save him; and well generally\nsuicide and depression in men scares me. Two men I have had the pleasure of\nknowing have taken their lives this year alone – and both were such amazing\npeople (as are all people I know).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he just has a swimming lesson once a week and a card\nwhich means he can use the pool there for free (when available) at other times.\nHe is much happier and is enjoying Rugby. I would say we are enjoying the extra\nfree time not having to taxi him to all the lessons but currently there\u2019s\nalways been something else on to fill the time!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a parent it is tricky and we each have to decide how much (if at all) to push our children, or where to rein them in or stop ourselves. In this example we are talking about sport but I am sure it could be applied to a million things. I think parents are all … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[3499,1599,1663],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=663%2C339","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=663%2C339",663,339,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?resize=150%2C150",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=300%2C153",300,153,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=663%2C339",663,339,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=663%2C339",663,339,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=663%2C339",663,339,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/54.155.211.39\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/swim-race.jpg?fit=663%2C339",663,339,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"pinkoddy","author_link":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/author\/pinkoddy\/"},"uagb_comment_info":4,"uagb_excerpt":"As a parent it is tricky and we each have to decide how much (if at all) to push our children, or where to rein them in or stop ourselves. In this example we are talking about sport but I am sure it could be applied to a million things. I think parents are all…","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pepM9j-6Rz","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26385"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26385"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26385\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26388"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/54.155.211.39\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}